Comments on: Secret Bank Accounts Will End Your Marriage…JK http://blog.filife.com/secret-bank-accounts-will-end-your-marriagejk/ A production of FiLife, a new personal-finance site that goes live later this year. Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:57:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Marti http://blog.filife.com/secret-bank-accounts-will-end-your-marriagejk/#comment-358 Marti Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:39:15 +0000 http://www.filife.com/secret-bank-accounts-will-end-your-marriagejk/#comment-358 I am 64, and have always had not only a secret bank account but keep hidden stashes of cash in the house. It is my security blanket. From time to time I have used this money to buy something for myself, or for one of the kids without having to have some big discussion about it. I have always believed that women are one man away from welfare, and I don't intend to be one of them. I would NEVER give up my secret bank account. I am 64, and have always had not only a secret bank account but keep hidden stashes of cash in the house. It is my security blanket. From time to time I have used this money to buy something for myself, or for one of the kids without having to have some big discussion about it. I have always believed that women are one man away from welfare, and I don’t intend to be one of them.

I would NEVER give up my secret bank account.

]]> By: Ivy Tseng http://blog.filife.com/secret-bank-accounts-will-end-your-marriagejk/#comment-36 Ivy Tseng Tue, 11 Sep 2007 19:55:20 +0000 http://www.filife.com/secret-bank-accounts-will-end-your-marriagejk/#comment-36 Call me naieve or idealistic (I'm a newlywed of 6 weeks), but I can't imagine having a "secret" bank account - and especially can't fathom keeping the total dollar amount in it hidden. Don't get me wrong - my new spouse and I have had long discussions about our finances, and have emphatically decided to keep our own independent accounts (in addition to creating a joint one). However, keeping financial secrets of any kind seems like a red flag and a slippery slope. Especially since most research says couples break up over 2 major issues - sex and money - I'm erring on the side of over-disclosing on this one. Your example of email accounts is an interesting one. While we certainly still have our own, we do have passwords and access to each others'. Do I read his email? Of course not. However, I have the option to - and therefore don't feel like he's keeping any secrets from me. Once you get married, I'd think couples would start developing joint financial goals - we have -such as home ownership, financing kids college educations, retirement, etc. Being secret about one half of the picture smacks a little bit of duplicitousness to me - as if you're squirrelling away cash for your big getaway. Just my 2 cents. Call me naieve or idealistic (I’m a newlywed of 6 weeks), but I can’t imagine having a “secret” bank account - and especially can’t fathom keeping the total dollar amount in it hidden.

Don’t get me wrong - my new spouse and I have had long discussions about our finances, and have emphatically decided to keep our own independent accounts (in addition to creating a joint one). However, keeping financial secrets of any kind seems like a red flag and a slippery slope. Especially since most research says couples break up over 2 major issues - sex and money - I’m erring on the side of over-disclosing on this one.

Your example of email accounts is an interesting one. While we certainly still have our own, we do have passwords and access to each others’. Do I read his email? Of course not. However, I have the option to - and therefore don’t feel like he’s keeping any secrets from me.

Once you get married, I’d think couples would start developing joint financial goals - we have -such as home ownership, financing kids college educations, retirement, etc. Being secret about one half of the picture smacks a little bit of duplicitousness to me - as if you’re squirrelling away cash for your big getaway.

Just my 2 cents.

]]> By: Michael Biondi http://blog.filife.com/secret-bank-accounts-will-end-your-marriagejk/#comment-26 Michael Biondi Sat, 08 Sep 2007 17:39:43 +0000 http://www.filife.com/secret-bank-accounts-will-end-your-marriagejk/#comment-26 Yes, this is true, but after being married for a while, two things happen (or at least it did for us). One, you end up getting yet another set of bank statements that you have to keep track of - between my statements, my wife's and our company's, this got to be a bit of a pain. And, once you've been married a while, and start acquiring stuff together, (house, cars, etc), the separate bank account thing became moot. I like to think it was just the first of a series of difficult decisions we made together that reflect our relationship. Having said that, I know every couple handles this differently, as money is one of those very personal/difficult things for everyone. You have to come up with something that you are both comfortable living with. Yes, this is true, but after being married for a while, two things happen (or at least it did for us). One, you end up getting yet another set of bank statements that you have to keep track of - between my statements, my wife’s and our company’s, this got to be a bit of a pain. And, once you’ve been married a while, and start acquiring stuff together, (house, cars, etc), the separate bank account thing became moot. I like to think it was just the first of a series of difficult decisions we made together that reflect our relationship. Having said that, I know every couple handles this differently, as money is one of those very personal/difficult things for everyone. You have to come up with something that you are both comfortable living with.

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